Gold Nugget 367 - The First Human Duty
The union of two souls in the love God and in the faith of the Lord Jesus Christ; the union of two minds in all rational and sober pursuits, whether intellectual, political, or social; the identity of interest; the community of purpose to make the most of what God has given to each for the common stock of happiness; the care of each for the other as the first human duty, and the faithfulness of each to the other in the whole series of actions, from the least to the greatest – this is the ideal of Christian wedlock to which we are led by the failures of the one as well as by the virtues of the other.
It is sad to think how frequently happy married life is an idea only, and not a reality, from the entire failure on both sides to carry out the conditions upon which happiness depends. A foolish choice at first, based only upon beauty and vanity, upon wealth and position, upon whim and fancy, without consulting religion, or reason, or true affection, is followed up by independent and selfish action, by each crossing the other’s wishes, by mutual neglect, by mutual reproach, by mutual violation of the spirit of the marriage contract. There follow in different cases various degrees of unhappiness and disorder according to the various measures of temper, and violence, and self-will, and disregard of solemn vows, and contempt of God’s word, of the parties concerned.
In one home it is the constant jarring of antagonistic wills, and unloving tempers; in another it is the coldness of distant and reproachful spirits; the constant sense of injury from unfilled duties; in others, the man having failed to find in his wife the kindness, the solace, the help, which he expected, seeks to indemnify himself in the flatteries and cajoleries of other women; and the wife, wounded in her pride, and hurt in her affections, looks for balm and for revenge in the attentions of the profligate, and the admiration of the licentious. In both cases true manhood and womanhood are marred and crushed, and the whole life is distorted, and like a building in ruins.
Public duties in the cabinet and in the field may indeed be performed by men of gifted minds and transcendent powers, in spite of their aberrations from moral rectitude; but delicate organisation of affections and faculties which were given to make up the charm and beauty of private and domestic life cannot live in an atmosphere of vice; and when there is a breakdown of the love and obedience due to God; there is a breakdown also of the dignity and happiness of man.
The careful study by married people, in a spirit of true Christian philosophy, of what is necessary to make wedlock the blessing God intended it to be when he “made the woman and brought her unto the man,” and the careful daily endeavour, in the spirit of saintly obedience, to perform each his or her part in the mutual contract, in spite of difficulties and hindrances, would be a large contribution to human happiness, and to the beauty of the Church of God.
The Pulpit Commentary, Judges p. 156, Judges 14: 10-20, (A. C. Hervey)
Gold Nugget 367
The First Human Duty
